Friday, February 13, 2009

She Cracks Me UP

This woman cracks me up! Check her blog out sometime Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. Below is her post from today and I would say it would be grounds for divorce. :) Please read her post below...........

Grounds for DivorceFeb. 13, 2009
Say you live in the country. Say you live in the country and for the past twelve-odd years you’ve developed a heightened sense of alert—a beneficial heightened sense of alert—when walking around the house at night because you never know when a wayward snake has made its way into your house. Say you never walk in the yard at night without a flashlight. Say snakes are always a distinct possibility and in fact, a nice lady on a neighboring ranch recently lost her toe after being bitten by a baby rattler while climbing into her bed one night.
Say all of that.
Then say your husband takes your children to the zoo in the big city one day, evidently finds this item at the zoo gift shop, and places it on the floor next to your bed on a Thursday night in February:

And say you don’t notice it as you’re about to crawl into bed, because all you can think about is getting into the warm bed with your equally warm husband. Then, say your husband—who purportedly loves and cares about your psychological well-being—says, gently, “Hey, honey…did my pillow fall down there?” And you look, immediately see the snake, scream bloody murder, and convulse and dive over to the other side of the bed. And as you try to calm yourself down after realizing the snake isn’t real, implementing breathing techniques and talking yourself down from a wicked episode of tachycardia, your husband—again, who purportedly loves and cares about your psychological well-being—can’t even see through the tears of laughter in his eyes. Say, in fact, that you don’t remember your husband ever laughing quite that uncontrollably.
And say, when the kids get up at 6:14 Friday morning, your husband is still so elated over his successful prank that he spends over twenty minutes re-enacting the whole scene for them. Twice. And say your children, at 6:55, are still laughing and saying, “Tell us again, Daddy! Tell us again!”
Who gets to continue living here? Me? Or them?

1 comment:

Huskerbabe said...

I read her blog too Julie. I laughed and laughed when I read this!